Holiday House: A Series of Tales Read online

  CHAPTER I.

  CHIT CHAT.

  A school-boy, a dog, and a walnut tree, The more you strike 'em, the better they be.

  Laura and Harry Graham could scarcely feel sure that they ever had amama, because she died while they were yet very young indeed; but Frank,who was some years older, recollected perfectly well what prettyplaythings she used to give him, and missed his kind, good mama soextremely, that he one day asked if he might "go to a shop and buy a newmama?" Frank often afterwards thought of the time also, when he kneeledbeside her bed to say his prayers, or when he sat upon her knee to hearfunny stories about good boys and bad boys--all very interesting, andall told on purpose to show how much happier obedient children are, thanthose who waste their time in idleness and folly. Boys and girls allthink they know the road to happiness without any mistake, and choosethat which looks gayest and pleasantest at first, though older people,who have travelled that road already, can tell them that a verydifficult path is the only one which ends agreeably; and those whobegin to walk in it when they are young, will really find that "wisdom'sways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace." It wastruly remarked by Solomon, that "even a child is known by his doings,whether his work be pure, and whether it be right." Therefore, thoughFrank was yet but a little boy, his friends, who observed how carefullyhe attended to his mama's instructions, how frequently he studied hisBible, and how diligently he learned his lessons, all prophesied thatthis merry, lively child, with laughing eyes, and dimpled cheeks, wouldyet grow up to be a good and useful man; especially when it becameevident that, by the blessing of God, he had been early turned away fromthe broad road that leadeth to destruction, in which every living personwould naturally walk, and led into the narrow path that leadeth toeternal life.

  When his mama, Lady Graham, after a long and painful illness, was atlast taken away to the better world, for which she had been many yearspreparing, her only sorrow and anxiety seemed to be that she left behindher three such very dear children, who were now to be entirely under thecare of their papa, Sir Edward Graham; and it was with many prayers andtears that she tried to make her mind more easy about their futureeducation, and future happiness.

  Sir Edward felt such extreme grief on the death of Lady Graham, thatinstead of being able to remain at home with his young family, and tointerest his mind as he would wish to have done, by attending to them,he was ordered by Dr. Bell, to set off immediately for Paris, Rome, andNaples, where it was hoped he might leave his distresses behind himwhile he travelled, or at all events, forget them.

  Luckily the children had a very good, kind uncle, Major David Graham,and their grandmama, Lady Harriet Graham, who were both exceedinglyhappy to take charge of them, observing that no house could be cheerfulwithout a few little people being there, and that now they would haveconstant amusement in trying to make Frank, Harry, and Laura, as happyas possible, and even still happier.

  "That is the thing I am almost afraid of!" said Sir Edward, smiling."Uncles and grandmamas are only too kind, and my small family will bequite spoiled by indulgence."

  "Not if you leave that old vixen, Mrs. Crabtree, as governor of thenursery," answered Major Graham, laughing. "She ought to have been thedrummer of a regiment, she is so fond of the rod! I believe there neverwas such a tyrant since the time when nursery-maids were invented. PoorHarry would pass his life in a dark closet, like Baron Trenck, if Mrs.Crabtree had her own way!"

  "She means it all well. I am certain that Mrs. Crabtree is devotedlyfond of my children, and would go through fire and water to serve them;but she is a little severe perhaps. Her idea is, that if you neverforgive a first fault, you will never hear of a second, which isprobably true enough. At all events, her harshness will be the bestremedy for your extreme indulgence; therefore let me beg that you and mymother will seldom interfere with her 'method,' especially in respect toHarry and Laura. As for Frank, if all boys were like him, we might makea bonfire of birch rods and canes. He is too old for nursery disciplinenow, and must be flogged at school, if deserving of it at all, till hegoes to sea next year with my friend Gordon, who has promised to ratehim as a volunteer of the first class, on board the Thunderbolt."

  In spite of Mrs. Crabtree's admirable "system" with children, Harry andLaura became, from this time, two of the most heedless, frolicsomebeings in the world, and had to be whipped almost every morning; for inthose days it had not been discovered that whipping is all a mistake,and that children can be made good without it; though someold-fashioned people still say--and such, too, who take the God of truthfor their guide--the old plan succeeded best, and those who "spare therod will spoil the child." When Lady Harriet and Major Graham spokekindly to Harry and Laura, about anything wrong that had been done, theyboth felt more sad and sorry, than after the severest punishments ofMrs. Crabtree, who frequently observed, that "if those children wereshut up in a dark room alone, with nothing to do, they would still findsome way of being mischievous, and of deserving to be punished."

  "Harry!" said Major Graham one day, "you remind me of a monkey whichbelonged to the colonel of our regiment formerly. He was famous forcontriving to play all sorts of pranks when no one supposed them to bepossible, and I recollect once having a valuable French clock, which themalicious creature seemed particularly determined to break. Many a timeI caught him in the fact, and saved my beautiful clock; but one day,being suddenly summoned out of the room, I hastily fastened his chain toa table, so that he could not possibly, even at the full extent of hispaw, so much as touch the glass case. I observed him impatientlywatching my departure, and felt a misgiving that he expected to get thebetter of me; so after shutting the door, I took a peep through thekey-hole, and what do you think Jack had done, Harry? for, next to Mr.Monkey himself, you are certainly the cleverest contriver of mischief Iknow."

  "What did he do?" asked Harry eagerly; "did he throw a stone at theclock?"

  "No! but his leg was several inches longer than his arm, so havingturned his tail towards his object, he stretched out his hind-paw, andbefore I could rush back, my splendid alabaster clock had been upset andbroken to shivers."

  Laura soon became quite as mischievous as Harry, which is verysurprising, as she was a whole year older, and had been twice as oftenscolded by Mrs. Crabtree. Neither of these children intended any harm,for they were only heedless lively romps, who would not for twentyworlds have told a lie, or done a shabby thing, or taken what did notbelong to them. They were not greedy either, and would not on anyaccount have resembled Peter Grey, who was at the same school withFrank, and who spent all his own pocket-money, and borrowed a great dealof other people's, to squander at the pastry-cook's, saying, he wishedit were possible to eat three dinners, and two breakfasts, and fivesuppers every day.

  Harry was not a cruel boy either; he never lashed his pony, beat hisdog, pinched his sister, or killed any butterflies, though he oftenchased them for fun, and one day he even defended a wasp, at the risk ofbeing stung, when Mrs. Crabtree intended to kill it.

  "Nasty, useless vermin!" said she angrily, "What business have they inthe world! coming into other people's houses, with nothing to do! Theysting and torment every body! Bees are very different, for they makehoney."

  "And wasps make jelly!" said Harry resolutely, while he opened thewindow, and shook the happy wasp out of his pocket handkerchief.

  Mrs. Crabtree allowed no pets of any description in her territories, andordered the children to be happy without any such nonsense. When Laura'scanary-bird escaped one unlucky day out of its cage, Mrs. Crabtree wasstrongly suspected by Major Graham, of having secretly opened the door,as she had long declared war upon bulfinches, white mice, parrots,kittens, dogs, bantams, and gold fish, observing that animals only madea noise and soiled the house, therefore every creature should remain inits own home, "birds in the air, fish in the sea, and beasts in thedesert." She seemed always watching in hopes Harry and Laura might dosomething that they ought to be punished for; and Mrs. Crabtreecertainly had more ears t
han other people, or slept with one eye open,as, whatever might be done, night or day, she overheard the lowestwhisper of mischief, and appeared able to see what was going on in thedark.

  When Harry was a very little boy, he sometimes put himself in thecorner, after doing wrong, apparently quite sensible that he deserved tobe punished, and once, after being terribly scolded by Mrs. Crabtree, hedrew in his stool beside her chair, with a funny penitent face, twirlinghis thumbs over and over each other, and saying, "Now, Mrs. Crabtree!look what a good boy I am going to be!"

  "You a good boy!" replied she contemptuously: "No! no! the world will beturned into a cream-cheese first!"

  Lady Harriet gave Harry and Laura a closet of their own, in which sheallowed them to keep their toys, and nobody could help laughing to seethat, amidst the whole collection, there was seldom one unbroken. Frankwrote out a list once of what he found in this crowded littlestore-room, and amused himself often with reading it over afterwards.There were three dolls without faces, a horse with no legs, a drum witha hole in the top, a cart without wheels, a churn with no bottom, a kitewithout a tale, a skipping-rope with no handles, and a cup and ball thathad lost the string. Lady Harriet called this closet the hospital fordecayed toys, and she often employed herself as their doctor, mendinglegs and arms for soldiers, horses, and dolls, though her skill seldomsucceeded long, because play-things must have been made of cast-iron tolast a week with Harry. One cold winter morning when Laura entered thenursery, she found a large fire blazing, and all her wax dolls sittingin a row within the fender staring at the flames. Harry intended nomischief on this occasion, but great was his vexation when Laura burstinto tears, and showed him that their faces were running in a hot streamdown upon their beautiful silk frocks, which were completely ruined, andnot a doll had its nose remaining. Another time, Harry pricked a hole inhis own beautiful large gas ball, wishing to see how the gas couldpossibly escape, after which, in a moment, it shrivelled up into auseless empty bladder,--and when his kite was flying up to the clouds,Harry often wished that he could be tied to the tail himself, so as tofly also through the air like a bird, and see every thing.

  Mrs. Crabtree always wore a prodigious bunch of jingling keys in herpocket, that rung whenever she moved, as if she carried a dinner bell inher pocket, and Frank said it was like a rattlesnake giving warning ofher approach, which was of great use, as everybody had time to put on alook of good behaviour before she arrived. Even Betty, the undernursery-maid, felt in terror of Mrs. Crabtree's entrance, and wasobliged to work harder than any six house-maids united. Frank told herone day that he thought brooms might soon be invented, which would go bysteam and brush carpets of themselves, but, in the meantime, not a grainof dust could lurk in any corner of the nursery without being dislodged.Betty would have required ten hands, and twenty pair of feet, to do allthe work that was expected; but the grate looked like jet, the windowswould not have soiled a cambric handkerchief, and the carpet wasswitched with so many tea-leaves, that Frank thought Mrs. Crabtree oftentook several additional cups of tea in order to leave a plentiful supplyof leaves for sweeping the floor next morning.

  If Laura and Harry left any breakfast, Mrs. Crabtree kept it carefullytill dinner time, when they were obliged to finish the whole beforetasting meat; and if they refused it at dinner, the remains were keptfor supper. Mrs. Crabtree always informed them that she did it "fortheir good," though Harry never could see any good that it did toeither of them; and when she mentioned how many poor children would beglad to eat what they despised, he often wished the hungry beggars hadsome of his own hot dinner, which he would gladly have spared to them;for Harry was really so generous, that he would have lived upon air, ifhe might be of use to anybody. Time passed on, and Lady Harriet engageda master for some hours a-day to teach the children lessons, while evenMrs. Crabtree found no other fault to Harry and Laura, except that inrespect to good behaviour their memories were like a sieve, which letout every thing they were desired to keep in mind. They seemed always tohope, somehow or other, when Mrs. Crabtree once turned her back, shewould never shew her face again; so their promises of better conductwere all "wind without rain,"--very loud and plenty of them, but no goodeffect to be seen afterwards.

  Among her many other torments, Mrs. Crabtree rolled up Laura's hairevery night on all sides of her head, in large stiff curl-papers, tillthey were as round and hard as walnuts, after which, she tied on anight-cap, as tightly as possible above all, saying this would curl thehair still better. Laura could not lay any part of her head on thepillow, without suffering so much pain that, night after night, she satup in bed, after Mrs. Crabtree had bustled out of the room, and quietlytook the cruel papers out, though she was punished so severely for doingso, that she obeyed orders at last and lay wide awake half the nightwith torture; and it was but small comfort to Laura afterwards, thatLady Harriet's visitors frequently admired the forest of long glossyringlets that adorned her head, and complimented Mrs. Crabtree on thetrouble it must cost her to keep that charming hair in order. Often didLaura wish that it were ornamenting any wig-block, rather than her ownhead; and one day Lady Harriet laughed heartily, when some strangersadmired her little grand-daughter's ringlets, and Laura asked, veryanxiously, if they would like to cut off a few of the longest, and keepthem for her sake.

  "Your hair does curl like a cork-screw," said Frank, laughing. "If Iwant to draw a cork out of a beer bottle any day, I shall borrow one ofthose ringlets, Laura!"

  "You may laugh, Frank, for it is fun to you and death to me," answeredpoor Laura, gravely shaking her curls at him. "I wish we were all bald,like uncle David! During the night, I cannot lie still on account ofthose tiresome curls, and all day I dare not stir for fear of spoilingthem, so they are never out of my head."

  "Nor off your head! How pleasant it must be to have Mrs. Crabtreecombing and scolding, and scolding and combing, for hours every day!Poor Laura! we must get Dr. Bell to say that they shall be taken off onpain of death, and then, perhaps, grandmama would order some Irishreapers to cut them down with a sickle."

  "Frank! what a lucky boy you are to be at school, and not in thenursery! I wish next year would come immediately, for then I shall havea governess, after which good-bye to Mrs. Crabtree, and the wearisomecurl-papers."

  "I don't like school!" said Harry. "It is perfect nonsense to plague mewith lessons now. All big people can read and write, so, of course, Ishall be able to do like others. There is no hurry about it!"

  Never was there a more amiable, pious, excellent boy than Frank, whoread his Bible so attentively, and said his prayers so regularly everymorning and evening, that he soon learned both to know his duty and todo it. Though he laughed heartily at the scrapes which Harry and Lauraso constantly fell into, he often also helped them out of theirdifficulties; being very different from most elderly boys, who find anodd kind of pleasure in teazing younger children--pulling theirhair--pinching their arms--twitching away their dinners--and twentymore plans for tormenting, which Frank never attempted to enjoy, but heoften gave Harry and Laura a great deal of kind, sober, good advice,which they listened to very attentively while they were in any newdistress, but generally forgot again as soon as their spirits rose.Frank came home only upon Saturdays and Sundays, because he attendedduring most of the week at Mr. Lexicon's academy, where he graduallybecame so clever, that the masters all praised his extraordinaryattention, and covered him with medals, while Major Graham often filledhis pockets with a reward of money, after which he ran towards thenearest shop to spend his little fortune in buying a present forsomebody. Frank scarcely ever wanted anything for himself, but he alwayswished to contrive some kind generous plan for other people; and MajorGraham used to say, "if that boy had only sixpence in the world, hewould lay it all out on penny tarts to distribute among half-a-dozen ofhis friends." He even saved his pocket-money once, during three wholemonths, to purchase a gown for Mrs. Crabtree, who looked almostgood-humoured during the space of five minutes, when Frank presented itto her, saying, in his jo
yous merry voice, "Mrs. Crabtree! I wish youhealth to wear it, strength to tear it, and money to buy another!"

  Certainly there never was such a gown before! It had been chosen byFrank and Harry together, who thought nothing could be more perfect. Thecolour was so bright an apple-green, that it would have put any body'steeth on edge to look at it, and the whole was dotted over with largeround spots of every colour, as if a box of wafers had been showeredupon the surface. Laura wished Mrs. Crabtree might receive a presentevery day, as it put her in such good-humour, and nearly three weeksafter passed this, without a single scold being heard in the nursery;so Frank observed that he thought Mrs. Crabtree would soon be quite outof practice.

  "Laura!" said Major Graham, looking very sly one morning, "have youheard all the new rules that Mrs. Crabtree has made?"

  "No!" replied she in great alarm; "what are they?"

  "In the first place, you are positively not to tear and destroy abovethree frocks a-day; secondly, you and Harry must never get into apassion, unless you are angry; thirdly, when either of you takemedicine, you are not to make wry faces, except when the taste is bad;fourthly, you must never speak ill of Mrs. Crabtree herself, until sheis out of the room; fifthly, you are not to jump out of the windows, aslong as you can get out at the door"----

  "Yes!" interrupted Laura, laughing, "and sixthly, when uncle David isjoking, we are not to be frightened by anything he says!"

  "Seventhly, when next you spill grandmama's bottle of ink, Harry mustdrink up every drop."

  "Very well! he may swallow a sheet of blotting paper afterwards, to putaway the taste."

  "I wish every body who writes a book, was obliged to swallow it," saidHarry. "It is such a waste of time reading, when we might be amusingourselves. Frank sat mooning over a book for two hours yesterday when wewanted him to play. I am sure, some day his head will burst withknowledge."

  "That can never happen to you, Master Harry," answered Major Graham;"you have a head, and so has a pin, but there is not much furniture ineither of them."